i am continuing to take notes on talks and interviews on healing. please follow the links to listen and watch yourself. meanwhile, i have encapsulated the main ideas here.
frances weller grief
the lost art of grief
we have little knowledge in grief so this massive darkness
makes our lives are small
grief is a threshold emotion—when we enter the room of
grief, it opens up the rest of our lives, we enter the hall of community and
joy
wm blake—the deeper the sorrow the greater the joy
compressed terrain of grief is compressed joy—creates
flatline culture, where we are now
rely on stimulation and stimulants to feel alive bc we are
not expressing genuine joy or grief
soul hygiene—like taking care of body etc, need to do same
for soul
to clear out soul through grief
levertov—to speak of sorrow moves it to and from soul’s hall
own soulful life to soul of the world, otherwise become
isolated and disconnected
communal practice of grieving
heroic culture is DIY, not need anyone or anything—muscle
thru sorrow
take sadness back out into community—always been communal
thru human history
part of our grief is waiting for the village to show up—can
be small
I wanna tell you about my sorrow and hear about yours
nothing is broken or need fixing—just to listen deeply and
say it matters
5 gates of grief
diff tributaries coming into soul
only 1st gate of loss is usu acknowledged
other 4 gates not recognized
1.
someone or thing dies—only gate acknowledged in
our culture
2.
some part of us never known love—possession of
anger, joy, sensuality, exuberance etc—loss to the integrity of our psyche/soul
·
we should grieve, but usually judge w contempt,
then cannot grieve it
3.
sorrow for the world—daily litany of loss
4.
loss of not receiving what we expected when we
arrived here—village life, connection w nature, connection w ancestors, cannot
name
5.
ancestral grief—our ancestors came from intact
community which was severed with arrival here, loss of traditions and language
etc, advent of slavery etc are still in our bodies
compressed grief
denied grief generates rage—explosive quality
malidoma somé—cannot trust a person who cannot grieve, they
become a walking powder keg in the community
military industrial complex comes from unresolved grief
all war is unmetabolized grief—martin prachtel (?)
anger is a rightful emotion stemming from violation,
boundaries, injustice, protection—a necessary energy
jung—the 1st individuation comes thru mars—who I
am, this is where I stand
we usu don’t develop it into a martial art—we are unskilled
and need to mature anger
anger is a relational process, revelatory—I am telling you
about me, what is causing me to feel deeply—leads to intimacy
intimidation is an attempt to silence a relationship, to
push one away and to feel scared—rupturing relationship instead of building
healthy power and anger serves the greater good
intimidation serves the narrow interest of individ or
nation—lose soulful connection
the myth of satisfaction in modern culture
we suffer from 2 sins: amnesia and anesthesia—we forget and
we go numb
the brighter world goes unnoticed—then we lean into
secondary satisfactions—entertainment, shopping, addictions, or even worse
power, wealth, status, privilege
our culture carries secondary satisfactions around empire
we are designed to be chronically dissatisfied—hungry for
next thing
like eating dust, instead of protein—that which sustains us
at soul level
primary satisfactions
soul needs to feel alive—necessary touch, laughter, shared
meals, condolences, stories, rituals
otherwise we are trying to fill the hole and never achieve
it—secondary satisfactions increase its own symptoms over time—addiction--more
use leads to more craving
gratitude
one hand is grief, the other gratitude—one in each hand,
creates the prayer of life
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