I have several ridiculous "rules" I've made up for myself. One is that if I injure myself, I am allowed only 1 day of pain. How can that be? you may ask. If I get hurt, I devote myself all day to alleviating the pain and addressing the source of the pain. Luckily I have enough training and experience to be able to read my body, understand what's happening, and get to the bottom of it, for the most part. It doesn't mean I spring back and resume normal activity on day 2, but it does mean that I can proceed cautiously, without pain or further injury.
Another rule I have is I am never ill for more than 2 days. Just as with a skeleto-muscular injury, when I succumb to a cold, I address it aggressively with all my immune boosters, such that symptoms typically wane within 2 days.
However last week I found myself at the mercy of my body and my circumstances. Since I decided to travel extremely lightly, I brought very few items of my usual regimen with me. I miss my turmeric ginger paste which I add to everything. I miss my home-brewed noni juice and my kombucha. Shortly after arriving, I developed a sore throat, which ripened into fever.
Believe it or not, I started googling "Medicinal trees of India," certain that the `āina would come through for me. After all my flat is right next to Chittaranjan Vatika, an absolute treasure of greenery. But alas, I didn't have enough energy and wherewithal to teach myself the la`au of this new land under conditions of illness.
So I surrendered to my body, the fever, and let the heat burn off all my impurities. I spent 2 days in bed, missing dear Gulnaaz's Sunday morning class, and the whole next day of the intensive. Fever takes us into an altered state, my dreaming/waking accompanied by podcasts and Palestinian films, interspersed with ginger lemon tea and khichari. One forgets what it's like to be feverless, your whole existence defined by woozy, achy spells, and a desire to be horizontal. One also easily dips into worry: could this be dengue? strep throat? a sinus infection? will I ever get better?
Back at home I probably would not bother, but here in India, I felt a need to see a doctor. I got a few recommendations to no avail. At the ayurvedic clinic, no doctor was present that day. Another doctor's office was closed on Monday. The third doctor turns out to be semi-retired and not keeping consistent hours. I gave up, went home, and went back to bed.
On Tuesday I woke with a feeling of clarity and a burst of energy, and was able to summon myself back to class. That morning we worked on actively mobilizing in forward bends, assisting each other manually. After a bit I chose to lie back and observe. I watched my classmates spread, soften, elongate, and move into the deep lovely state of forward folding.
Both forward bends and illness require a high level of trust. But not just trust--context, knowledge, and understanding are needed. The hands-on assists would be considered aggressive from a USian point of view, possibly even invasive. Some of the assists even required use of the legs to help bring the trunk forward in a seated pose. Gripping our muscles out of fear or distrust when someone is assisting us invites injury. Instead, we have to do our part in assuming the āsana, then receive the additional movement from our partner to further the work. Similarly I had to trust my body to be healing itself through fever, not rush to lower it, and to ride it out, like a July monsoon.
Still, I hope the rest of my travels are uneventful, healthwise. My roommates from New York arrive this week, the intensive lasts a few more days, and then I will enroll in daily classes for 2 more weeks. Illness reminds us we can take nothing for granted. I am incredibly grateful to be here, despite whatever stumbles on the path.
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