My CEASEFIRE! Halloween costume
much love and thanks for all the birthday blessings. i feel so grateful to have made it to 60 years, and perhaps i will have a few more decades to devote to this lifetime's journey. if i do, wonderful. if i don't, that is also fine. my embodiment is not what defines me.
as usual, in past weeks, my first morning thought was not my birthday, but those unable to celebrate who are suffering in war. if we're lucky, we will grow more sensitive and aware as we age. we will be willing to be more vulnerable, and release our defenses. hopefully this makes us more present, more wise, more grounded, and more fierce.
for the remainder of my time on earth, i hope to put myself to maximum use for the common good. i feel i am reaching my highest potential in my profession as an iyengar yoga practitioner and teacher. it's a very long journey and i still have so much to learn, but i feel i can access the wisdom of the practice, and share it with others, more so than ever before.
i continue to decolonize myself. i am a humble student and steward of the `āina and all the beings of these islands, from the plants to the people to the deities. i continue to learn about my own ancestry and history and culture.
i am a servant of my 3 grandchildren, and they teach me how to be more playful, more creative, more resilient, more compassionate, and how to be a strong, reliable anchor and co-regulator. i am a student of my 3 children, who have always been my teachers, who continue to challenge me and who will exceed me in all ways. all the learning and growth is through unconditional love and acceptance, which i never, even for one breath, take for granted.
the genocide in gaza brings me to my knees. i am in constant prayer. i am flashing back to the wars in iraq and afghanistan which i tried with all my might to stop. even more recently, my heart continues to break for yemen. further back, i'm sure my dna is awakened by all the earlier wars, including the unspeakably brutal proxy war fought on the korean peninsula in the early 1950s.
i'm ready to put my body on the line to protect the most vulnerable. this is the first time in my life i have not been a full-time caregiver, with someone to come home to, to feed and care for. it's a wonderful feeling to know you have nothing to lose. career? those who resonate with me will support me, and the others can go. wealth? i've already given it up. it's long gone, and yet here i am, still breathing and eating. reputation? whatever.
may i speak truth to power.
may i continue to learn and evolve.
may i stand strong with a soft belly and open heart.
here is a quote that shook me to the core that i will close with:
"Conflict: an opportunity for intimacy. An eruption of energy characterized by a deep feeling of hurt, resentment, loss, fear, and a challenge to one’s self-esteem. It is usually also characterized by the appearance of surface issues and demands that can be argued about, so that the deeper feelings won’t have to be felt. Conflict, when handled appropriately, can be a catalyst for increased awareness of ourselves and our connections to one another. It can be the crack in the hard shell of our persona, that allows us to begin a journey to the center of ourselves." ~ Warriors of the Heart, Danaan Parry
may the hard shells of our personae crack open over and over and over again.
mahalo nui loa,
peggy gwi-seok hong
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