for all us mamas who didn’t know any better
for all us desperate mamas whose own mamas
left us too early
weaned us before we were ready
lied to us trying to protect us
for all us mamas who had to teach ourselves
how to make kimchi
because while our mamas were alive
we refused to learn
who didn’t want to spend the summers
“helping” at home
for all us mamas who had to unshame ourselves
learn the hard way how to love ourselves
who went straight through the hurricane
instead of around it like we were told to do
for all us mamas who refused to listen
for any mama who said the wrong thing to a small child
who sewed her shadow onto a dependent
who blamed everyone around her
who pushed away those who desperately wanted her to be happy
who shut herself away and begged to be left alone
for any mama who got weighed down with family baggage
who took on the karma of her mama and her grandmama
and great grand and great great grand
for any mama who survived occupation
days and nights in the desert
stopped keeping count
for all the mamas broken and patched
shattered and glued
uprooted and transplanted
remember us
for any one moment
of sweetness
savor us
for how hard we tried
how our love for our babies
made us wiling to fail
over and over and over again
11 may
