SAMSKARA

 will i remember you in my next life?

when i enter samadhi
bound for the infinite beyond

when my body is a shell returned to the earth
to be consumed by creatures and microbes

when i forsake my name
my caste
my race
my creed
and fade deep into
the innermost zero

will my soul maintain the imprint
of my guru?

when i have learned the lessons in the spiritual realm
and prepare to return to the crush
of earthly life

the mud and monsoons
and packs of stray dogs
and honks of rickshaws

when i come back
as male or female or anyone beyond a binary
rich or poor
black or brown

will i somehow make my way back to this place?
will my body remember the stone steps?
will my feet curve around the staircase going up to the hall?
will i touch the feet of my guru as i enter the hall?

will my heart skip a beat when i hear the voice of my guru?
will my samskara cling to the memory of my teachers?
will my soul willingly come back into a flawed and painful embodiment
such that i seek you out
subject myself to the austerity of the teachings
lay myself down on a cool slate floor
or drape my spine across the familiar arc
of a backbender

when my fingertips graze the photographs of my guru
will my eyes recall your face?
will my stomach gurgle in response to a memory deep in my gut?
will my guru make himself known to me?

whatever grace has led me to this embodiment in this place and time
whatever grace has opened me to these teachings
brought me to the feet of my guru
brought me to my knees in utter humiity

will i regain that grace in my next life?
will my feet once again walk on these stone steps?
will i hear the call of my guru?
will i answer the call?